When Beliefs Shape Reality.

What if the thing shaping our life isn’t circumstance, but belief?

My 30s saw massive personal evolution for me. While I loved many aspects of that decade, it was one of my most challenging. I got married, did the IVF journey, and had a life-changing experience.

This experience was traumatic in nature. While I do not wish that journey on anyone, I am now grateful for it. My worldview changed forever. When you’re ripped open, feeling like you have nothing left, life quietly changes shape.

A beautiful friend gave me three books. One of which I can’t remember the name. The other two however I’ll never forget. One was a beautiful little memoir that had me laughing and crying out loud.

The other pretty much blew what I held as true out the window. As I read this book, many beliefs I didn’t even realise I carried came to light. Some of these beliefs instantly dissolved, others were reviewed. It was the beginning of consciously growing my self-awareness.

The strength and insights I gained in my late 30’s shaped my early 40’s and continue to do so. I took some control of my life, became a mum (naturally), got divorced and became a deputy mayor.

My journey continues to teach me that some of my strongest beliefs are still invisible to me. They sit quietly within, shaping how I interpret situations, people, and, importantly, myself.

And, interestingly, what highlights them doesn’t often feel like a belief – it feels like reality. Like ‘this is just how things are.’

The East Compass gently (or in some cases, not so gently) disrupts this, creating opportunities to weed them out.

Having a curious mind encourages the testing of assumptions, noticing inherited or learned narratives, and asks whether they still serve us.

It’s not about tearing everything down. It’s about making conscious choices when the opportunity presents itself, i.e. we get triggered.

Assumptions generally grow out of the beliefs we formed earlier in life. Through family, culture, education, or experiences that left an impression. At the time, many of them were often useful. They helped us belong, stay safe, or make sense of the world. But beliefs don’t automatically update as we grow. And when they go unexamined, they can quietly keep running the show.

For example, if I believe conflict leads to rejection, I might (do sometimes 😉) avoid difficult conversations and call it getting on with things.

If I believe I need to be competent to be valued, I might over-prepare, over-function, or struggle to ask for help.

If I believe people won’t follow unless I’m certain, I might silence curiosity in favour of control.

Over time, assumptions can reinforce themselves. We notice the evidence that confirms them and overlook (or ignore) what doesn’t.

East invites us to pause and ask different questions.

What am I assuming here?
Where did that belief come from?
Is it still true - or just familiar?

This kind of questioning isn’t about self-doubt. It’s about discernment. About recognising that growth often requires updating our inner operating system.

I’ve learned that beliefs need reviewing, just like strategies or systems do. What once fit can become restrictive. What once guided us forward can quietly limit what we see. And certainly for me, what felt true at one stage of life may no longer reflect who I am now.

When we loosen our grip on our beliefs and the assumptions that come with them, something powerful can happen. Sometimes life-changing.

Perspective widens.
Options appear.
Curiosity returns.

East reminds us that curiosity isn’t just about gaining new information. It’s also about noticing where certainty may actually be a belief in disguise.

And sometimes, leadership doesn’t require a new answer at all - just a better question.

Further insights:

Download my free guide: 10 Ways to be Authentically You (even on a Tuesday).
Check out 'A New Compass: Finding your Inner North' - a short guided series.

#anewcompass #leadinglights